Well we’re not seeing it in the figures yet

Well the figures aren’t rising consistently yet

Well we aren’t seeing significantly rising tides yet

Well the climate fluctuations are relatively mild so far

Well most climate disasters have been constrained to the global south so far

Well the impact of the recent droughts have been manageable so far

Well some ecosystems are still coping after the firestorms

Well the surviving farmland provides enough food to feed the firefighters

Well the hurricanes may provide drinking water to last another few years

Well we have a nice cask of Sherry in this bunker

Well at least we made the most of things while we could.

I woke slowly, in familiar yet unclear surroundings. Smells from my childhood brought structure to the edges of my consciousness – evoking warmth and sunlight and snow and adventure and safety. I could see fleeting glimpses of friends and family at the corner of my vision, as if standing just outside the room I was in; present yet elsewhere. 

I gradually became aware of a large creature next to me. In fact, it was not just next to me, it was cradling me in its strong, soft, furry arms.

The huge and gentle figure held me like an immensely delicate ornament.

It made me feel precious, but respected – not at all like the often crushing, cloying grasp of a parent or lover. Yet I knew this creature loved me deeply. More deeply than I had ever experienced in life.

Fuck Prince Philip.

One day of mourning and sycophancy was pathetic enough, but this is now a full-on national tantrum.

I guess we’re seeing the death throes of the remaining few generations who are still brainwashed by the cartel of the monarchy.

Philip was a racist bastard, part of a eugenicist regime built on a tower of black and brown bodies, empowered by a propaganda machine so powerful it can bring our entire system of government to a halt so politicians can violently proselytise at each other for hours in the heart of our democratic chambers about the Dear Great Leader and how noble it is to sacrifice your life upholding those most British values of colonialism, blood purity, and service to the state.

North Korea *wishes* it had subjects as obedient as ours.

But Philip’s generations of worshippers and disciples are dying, now faster than ever. They should consider themselves lucky that the end of their beloved monarchy will be with a whimper.

(Credit to Ash Sarkar for the phrase “cartel” in reference to the monarchy)